Does Sex Feel Like a Chore

Welcome to the Sexual Wellness for Women Podcast – your trusted resource for sexual wellness during menopause and different stages of life. I’m your host, Allie, a board-certified sexologist and certified integrative wellness coach. As I pursue my PhD in mind-body medicine, I’m dedicated to providing you with the knowledge, tools, and support you need to navigate the complexities of sexual wellness.

As a sexologist and integrative wellness coach, I combine scientific knowledge with a compassionate and holistic approach. I believe in the power of mind-body connection and the transformative potential of embracing our unique sexual selves. Together, we’ll navigate through the complexities and debunk myths surrounding sexual wellness during menopause and different life stages.

So, whether you’re in the midst of menopause, perimenopause, or simply seeking guidance on sexual wellness, this podcast is for you. It’s time to prioritize your sexual well-being and embrace the vibrant, confident, and fulfilled woman you are.

Today is Friday, 2/16/2024 –thank you for tuning in and giving me a listen.

And don’t forget if you like this episode, please give it a 5-star rating, review or share with 3 friends!

WEEKEND WELLNESS TIP: Experiment with Lubricants

They can enhance pleasure and reduce discomfort during sex. There are many types, so find what works best for you. My two favorites are SLiquid and Quim.

TOPIC: Does Sex Feel Like a Chore

I get this concern frequently among clients in my private practice at The Passion Zone and with my work at the Maven Clinic.

Sex can feel like something else to check off our to-do list for many reasons:

  • Too tired from the day’s work.
  • Not in the mood – ever.
  • There’s still work to do.

And the list can go on and on.

While all of those can be true – what else might be going on is your hormones took a hike or are involved in another aspect of your body.

Post-partum and menopause do different things with your hormones. Post-partum, if you’re breastfeeding, that is where your hormones are at – helping you make milk for the baby. If you’re not breastfeeding, it still takes 6 – 8 weeks for your hormones to return. Menopause – they’ve gone and left you behind.

What’s worse than us not getting that loving feeling is that our partners think it’s them. They believe they are the reason we do not want to get intimate.

This doesn’t describe everyone – but those who identify as male need sex to feel emotionally close to their partner. Those who identify as female need the emotional connection first, and then sex follows.

Our brains are our largest sex organ – if your brain is not thinking of sex, your body going to follow – it’s not going to want sex.

My three best tips – just for you guys:

  • Read romance novels – one chapter a night.
  • Recreate intimacy by having date nights.
  • Being present – don’t multitask during sex. Focus on where you are and what you are going.
  • Be honest with your partner if some smooth moves no longer work. Our bodies change as we give birth and as we age. Can’t tell them directly? Write it down and give it to them.

No one likes to look at sex with their partner as a chore – and it doesn’t make your partner feel loved to be a chore.

Give my four suggestions a try. Want to talk more? Connect with me through a free discovery session. Link is in the show’s notes.

Disclaimer: This in-depth article is meant to offer insights and information. It is not a substitute for individualized professional advice. Always consult a healthcare or mental health professional for personal concerns or issues.


Thank you for joining me on this episode of “Sexual Wellness for Women.” If you found the information valuable and enjoyed the discussion, I would truly appreciate it if you could take a moment to rate and review the episode. Your feedback helps me reach more people and spread the message of sexual wellness.

Remember, the more listeners we have, the more people I can help have their “ah-ha” moments when it comes to their sexual well-being. So, please share this podcast with your friends, family, and anyone who can benefit from our discussions.

And speaking of helping others, don’t forget to follow me on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Wisdom. I share even more tips, tricks, and inspiration on these platforms to support you in your journey towards sexual wellness.

Lastly, I want to remind you that you are a wonderful sexual being. Embrace your uniqueness, take care of yourself, and prioritize your sexual well-being. Remember, pleasure and fulfillment are your birthright.

Thank you for tuning in, and I hope you have a passionate week ahead. I’ll catch you next time for more empowering conversations on “Sexual Wellness for Women.”

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