Table of contents
Share Post

When to Take the Next Step: Deciding When to Sleep with Someone

Welcome to the Sexual Wellness for Women Podcast – your trusted resource for sexual wellness during menopause and different stages of life. I’m your host, Allie, a board-certified sexologist, professional sex coach, and certified integrative wellness coach. As I pursue my Ph.D. in mind-body medicine, I’m dedicated to providing you with the knowledge, tools, and support you need to navigate the complexities of sexual wellness.

As a sexologist, sex coach, and integrative wellness coach, I combine scientific knowledge with a compassionate and holistic approach. I believe in the power of mind-body connection and the transformative potential of embracing our unique sexual selves. Together, we’ll navigate the complexities surrounding sexual wellness during menopause and different life stages.

So, whether you’re in menopause, perimenopause, or simply seeking guidance on sexual wellness, this podcast is for you. It’s time to prioritize your sexual well-being and embrace the vibrant, confident, and fulfilled woman you are.

Today is Thursday, 8/17/2023 –thank you for tuning in and giving me a listen.

And don’t forget if you like this episode, please give it a 5-star rating, review or share with 3 friends!


Chronic stress can affect your libido. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, and exercise can help manage stress.

TOPIC: When to Take the Next Step: Deciding When to Sleep with Someone

Navigating the modern dating landscape can be complex and layered with uncertainties. One question that often crops up, regardless of age or experience, is: “How many dates should I go on before I sleep with someone?” The answer, much like relationships themselves, is multifaceted and deeply personal. Here, we will explore some factors to consider when making this intimate decision.

There’s No Magic Number

First and foremost, it’s essential to dispel the notion that there’s a ‘one-size-fits-all’ answer. If you Google this question, you will find that the average time is three dates. That’s average – not the norm. Every individual, and every relationship, is unique. While some may feel comfortable becoming intimate after a single date, others may choose to wait weeks, months, or even until marriage. Both choices and everything in between, are valid as long as they resonate with your feelings and values.

Self-awareness is Key

Ask yourself, “Why do I want to have sex?” Is it out of genuine desire, peer pressure, or the hope that it will solidify the relationship? Being honest about your motivations can help you make decisions that align with your authentic self.

Communication Matters

Engage in open dialogue with your potential partner. Discussing sexual health, boundaries, and expectations can lead to a deeper understanding and connection. Remember, if you’re uncomfortable discussing sex, you might want to reconsider whether you’re ready to engage.

Safety First

Beyond emotional considerations, think about your physical safety. Are both of you aware of each other’s STI status? Have you discussed contraceptive methods? Taking necessary precautions to protect your physical and emotional well-being is vital.

Reflect on Past Experiences

How did you feel after previous intimate encounters? Did you wish you had waited longer, or did you think you waited too long? While every relationship is different, reflecting on past experiences can offer valuable insights into what feels right for you now.

Trust Your Gut

Your intuition is a powerful guide. If something feels off or you feel pressured, it’s okay to hit the pause button. On the other hand, if you feel a deep connection and trust with someone, and everything aligns with your personal values and desires, that’s a strong indication you’re making the right decision for you.

Cultural and Personal Values

Everyone has values shaped by personal experiences, cultural backgrounds, religious beliefs, and societal pressures. Honor your background and belief system, and ensure your decision aligns with who you are.

Consider the Emotional Ramifications

Physical intimacy can deepen emotional connections, but it can also complicate things. Consider how you handle emotional attachment and vulnerability, and ensure you’re prepared for potential dynamic shifts after intimacy.

Choosing when to become intimate with someone is profoundly personal and should be based on mutual respect, clear communication, and self-awareness. It’s essential to remember that every individual’s journey is unique, and there’s no right or wrong answer, only what’s right for you. Whatever decision you make, ensure it leaves you feeling empowered, safe, and true to yourself.


Thank you for joining me on this episode of “Sexual Wellness for Women.” If you found the information valuable and enjoyed the discussion, I would truly appreciate it if you could take a moment to rate and review the episode. Your feedback helps me reach more people and spread the message of sexual wellness.

Remember, the more listeners we have, the more people I can help have their “ah-ha” moments when it comes to their sexual well-being. So, please share this podcast with your friends, family, and anyone who can benefit from our discussions.

And speaking of helping others, don’t forget to follow me on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Wisdom. I share even more tips, tricks, and inspiration on these platforms to support you in your journey towards sexual wellness.

Lastly, I want to remind you that you are a wonderful sexual being. Embrace your uniqueness, take care of yourself, and prioritize your sexual well-being. Remember, pleasure and fulfillment are your birthright.

Thank you for tuning in, and I hope you have a passionate week ahead. I’ll catch you next time for more empowering conversations on “Sexual Wellness for Women.”

Looking to Increase Your Desire?

Check out The Desire Package:

Between our 1:1 chat and your blended flower essence combo created JUST FOR YOU, your desire can enjoy its boost in as little as 7 days.

Click here to learn more!